Okay Easter went by pretty uneventful until 6 pm , Tuesdays father called and I allowed her to talk to him , she hasn't seen him in 2 months , He promises her things and never follows up , He always has an excuse not to take her. So I cut out the drama and stopped visitation all together after he forgot her at daycare and told her that we were going to abandon her because she was not behaving .. That was it for me when I picked up a very hysterical tuesday .
So he says to me why can't I see her , you can't keep her from me you know , we have a child support agreement . So I told him that he owed me 1500.00 in back support and 6 years worth of medical and everything else see because we have joint custody . So I kindly told him he wasn't and never has held up his end so why should I . Joint custody means shared everything .. he can't even pay his lousy 52.25 a week , Tuesdays daycare is 30.00 a day . So how is that fair ? You know its not like I can say hey tuesday you can't have clothes or anything else you need because your dad don't pay , Thats what he fails to realize , Just because he don't pay don't mean she don't need things. Its not screwing Tuesday over its affecting my whole family , Mainly Erik and myself , our girls don't go without , But the phone company , and car insurance .. and the electric company and our basic needs do , I am filing a contempt order with the court , DOes anyone know anything about this? I think he is responsible to pay me back for those 6 yrs he was supposed to be covering medical because it is an court order right ?
1. have you had plastic surgery? if not, would you consider it? why or why not? No I haven't , I would not only consider it I would do it .. I want my outside to match my inside. I think it would stop the internal wars between my minds image matching my bodys image. It is something I have struggled with all my life , and is a source of great unhappiness for me and I honestly think that it would help me . I know I need to be happy with my self regardless .. but I am just not.
2. have you seen anyone you knew on national television before? who were they, and what was the circumstances? No , but I was big time news , name with held because I was under 18 . FOr something heinous I did when I was 14. I choose the wrong way to call out for help , and to this day I am dealing with the repercusions of what I did 13 yrs ago , Its true you know your past does haunt you.
3. do you think that gastric bypass surgery should be covered by health insurance? why or why not? My health insurance actually does cover it , and I was scheduled for a consultation .. the week before I found out I was pregnant . I woul dget it in a heart beat . But thankfully I don't weigh enough .
4. have you ever been on national television? if yes, what was it for? if not, would you like to be on nat'l television? why/why not? see awnser 2
5. i've seen young girls - 18 yrs. old - get breast implants. most women will go up a cup size around that age. how young is 'too young' for breast implants? I would guess it depends on the parents and the individuals , there are tons of other reasons people get them then just for bigger breasts .. Masectomys, disfigurations etc
6. if you could appear in any medium - radio, television, print, film, internet - what would it be? why? or would you rather be anonymous? Print and it would be anon , I have alot to say .. and I could write a book about my life experiences .. But it would hurt those I love
7. have you had any 'regular' surgery, something for health reasons only and not considered plastic surgery? why? if you haven't, who is the closest person to you to have surgery, and tell us about that. I had orthoscopic on my knee because at 19 I destroyed my acl and mcl , had my adnois out , And I had my tubes tied.
8. as of this moment, who is you most-favourite famous person? tell us about him/her, and what makes them so special to you. My most favorite person is not famous, It is my Memere she is the most selfless person on this earth , She has gone to ends of the earth and back with me and is my support system , When everyone else threw in the towel as far as I'm concerned , she did not. My memere is my hero and the person I strive to be most like in life . If it were not for her I would not be half of who I am today , She truly is incredible
Today is lovely out here in Massachusetts . I'm sitting here by the open windows enjoying the sun and breeze . It don't get much better than this , Lavender is on the couch napping , Tuesday is in her room playing .
I'm getting quite a bit accomplished , Tuesday is anticipting the return of the Easter bunny . I get to pick up Lavenders pictures tommorow , I'm excited for the weekend . Eriks grandmother is being buried tuesday ..so yet another day off at work , I think they think I am either making all these deaths up or I am just cursed .
On another note my neighbor is being a serious bitch, I bought a spacesaver washer and dryer ( which we are not allowed to have per lease because they provide community washers and dryers ) but people steal things, and dragging the baby up and down 3 flights of stairs to another complex is miserable . She says to me the other day I know you have a washer I'm telling managment .
So with an evil glint in my eye I reminded her that I am a mechanic and to watch out .. because perhaps something might go awry on her car. We have a history me and her , We used to be friends .. until she told me something I had to tell other people . She confided in me that her bf molested his 13 yr old daughter . I'm a mother of 2 girls and there are so many people that live here and don't watch out for their kids ..That I felt I needed to tell managment. The guy isn't on her lease and he's a registered sex offender free to roam in my complex community , I don't think so. So she hates me now. What do you think ? what would you do ?
Friday Five 1. What do you do for a living? I am an Industrial Mechanic
2. What do you like most about your job? That no other woman in my companys 200 yr history has ever held my job.. I showed them hahahah
3. What do you like least about your job?That sometimes my guys forget that I'm a woman , and that I have feelings
4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... I am assigned all the shit work because its still a mans world
5. What other career(s) are you interested in? I would love to be a recognized artist.
Well I just returned from my grandfathers funeral , And if one positive thing be said of catholics , They do have lovely services , It was sad .. But I am happy he died surrounded by those that loved him.
The wake took place yesterday and it was definitley an emotionally exhausting affair , Grandpa had alot of friends and people who loved him , I was happy to see that . He was a simple man who touched alot of lives. My aunt berated me for being devoid of emotion, I loved my garndfather and I am sad he is not on this plain with me , but I am happy the pain and torment is gone that was his every day life for 2 yrs , He put up a noble fight , One he knew that he would lose but none the less he fought.
It was sad to see my family devestated like that, But I'm not one to cry , And if I do I lick my wounds in private . I deal with emotions on my own terms. On another sad note my Aunt died on Sunday night of cancer .. And Eriks grandmother whom we visited yesterday passed away today. When it rains it pours. But for myself it was a maturing and sobering moment. I waste to much time saying to my daughter someday.. I waste to much energy on grudges and negative things .. I am going to start making those somedays a reality. And stop sweating the small stuff . Well until later my friends.
P.s had to edit !! Is it or is it not a wake faux pah to lean in a casket and kiss someone on the forhead ? All I heard was a tremendous gasp when I did this soo just wondering .... ?
Have you ever watched some one die , Fade into a void of unknown ? Its like looking at your own mortality and knowing you too will someday be there. I went to work today and for the life of me could not concentrate , And also every thing I touched literally turned to shit . When this happens , which is rare .. I just know something is not right .. I couldn't shake it , I knew it was more than a funk , So around 11 I decieded to call and check on Grandpa .. His wife awnsered the phone and I was told that he was fading minute by minute and that I should if I wanted to say goodbye , get there . When I arrived grandpa was in a coma . I walked over held his hand and kissed his forehead and told him goodbye . He fought to exist until 12:30 . Everyone broke down but oddly enough me and my father didn't , always have to be the tough guys .
I can't imagine what pain his wife is going through , you could see her world breath by shallow breath of my grandpas literally unhinge her world . It was an awful but fascinating thing . I know what real love looks like because I seen it today , and I also witnessed devestaion like I have never seen before . It was amazing. I love my grandpa but I am glad he's no longer in pain .
We went out to smoke a cigarette before cleaning out his room , and I was joking with my dad ( step who adopted me = Daddy ) about how I had a jar for him when he died , I have a vial of my biological fathers ashes which I wear around my neck, The remainder of his ashes are under my sink in a I love Lucy lunch box , My uncle snapped and told me I was ignorant and its all fun and games now but wait until I have to feel what he is feeling , So I explained to him , that I know exactly what that is like "Jimmy"died when I was 23 and although he was not father of the year , he was still my father and I loved him .. And that in this lifetime I would have to bury 2 fathers.. I think he was ashamed of himself , and rightfully so because he got really quiet. Its been such a strange day indeed . But I'm okay with it , I accepeted this would happen last week ..So for once I was mentally prepared. God bless you grandpa and Rest In Peace.
You never realize when your younger , that the older you get .. The more the world closes is on you , Grandpa was sent home today to die at home , they estimate that he will be lucky to see monday. I'm at peace with it , I can't imagine being faced with that.it seems the older I get the more people disappear from my life , its just so crazy , now I know what is meant by " youth is wasted on the young " Its so true.
Lavender is still teething and quite miserable .. Poor thing , Its such a drastic change is her nature , I can't wait until I get her pictures back so I can post them ( what a nerd huh ) I'm anxiously awaiting them , they came out so beautiful. I finished my Easter shopping , I got alot of cool stuff to put in my Memere's basket , WE decided to do one this year for her , because she is a tremendous help to us , My memere has always been there for me , Even when my family shunned me .. Memere did not , She always had faith in me .
No sleepovers this weekend whoo hoo , ( that I know of as of yet anyway ) I have to work on a project with Tuesday for school , she's doing a time line and presentation on pochahontos , So being the competitive child she is ..It has to be perfect .
